Parents… 8 ways to help your child deal with Bullying…
1. Address Bullying — It's Not Harmless
Bullying behavior--whether it's through threatening words or gestures, physically hurting, name-calling, mimicking, harassing, or shunning (isolating someone)--is a destructive force in the lives of too many kids. Being the victim of a bully is an attack on a young person's self esteem and joy in life. Being the bully allows a child to build behavior which will be destructive socially and professionally later in life
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2. Make bullying against the rules
Make sure that your child's school has a clear written Violence and Harassment Prevention Policy which everyone agrees to uphold. Tune in when kids are acting upset with each other and help them learn skills for handling conflict. Set an example for your children by not allowing people to bully you and by exercising the self-control necessary not to bully others.
3. Teach kids to act aware and confident
Bullies pick on kids who act scared, oblivious, or defensive. An alert, assertive attitude can help possible victims and witnesses stop most bullying before it starts.
4. Teach kids target denial skills
Target denial is an official martial arts technique which means, "Don't be there!" Target denial means not giving a bully a physical advantage by being too close. For example, kids can move away from someone who they know is a problem. Target denial means not giving a bully an emotional handle. One technique is to leave by smiling and waving and saying cheerfully, "No, thanks!" very calmly and sincerely instead of acting scared or angry.
5. Teach kids the power of words
Teach your children how to protect themselves from words and by using words. Kids tell us that trying to "just ignore it when someone says something mean to you" doesn't really work. Stop serious name-calling with the same commitment that you would use to stop serious hitting. Teach kids to protect themselves from hurting words by imagining throwing them into a garbage can instead of taking them inside their hearts or their heads. Teach kids not to let insults, rude behavior, or guilt trips trigger them into feeling intimidated or emotionally coerced by a bully. Kids need to learn how not to let what others say or do control their choices. Teach kids how to set clear strong verbal boundaries in a respectful assertive way with people they know.
6. Teach kids to defend themselves physically
To be effective in using other bully prevention tactics, kids need to know that they can protect themselves physically. As a last resort, kids need to know if and when and how they can hurt someone to stop that person from hurting them.
7. Teach kids to get help
Be someone your kids can come to with their problems without fear of you overreacting or belittling them or lecturing or getting mad at them. Even if the issues they bring might seem trivial to you, these issues usually seem big to them. Most of the time, kids just need someone to listen so they won't feel alone. Being able to talk about problems can help a child figure out what to do and put things into perspective. Having our kids in the habit of talking to us can also alert us to more serious issues.
8. Give kids the chance to practice
Kids learn more by doing than by being told what to do. Programs such as AIM USA Self Defense and Safety Awareness give kids the chance to develop skills, which can change their lives forever.
